Sentimientos Ocultos
by FinoalCielo
Summary: How can a child survive in a world filled with hateful remarks and jeers? How can they not break and still smile like nothing? What would happen when Sawada Tsunayoshi's hidden feelings come out to light?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

* * *

 **Warning(s):** Negative!thoughts, OOC's

 **Notes:** "Japanese" _Thinking_

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn; Amano Akira does. If I did, it would be more sadder and dark.

* * *

 **._.._..._XX..XX_..._.._.**

* * *

Insecurities. Tsuna was filled with them.

Everybody wondered how he managed to remain unaffected with taunts, jeers and hateful remarks continuously thrown toward him for 9 years straight. Ever since he was five, the name "Dame-Tsuna" started to circulate. At first, it was nothing but a joke but as the days passed, it became something hurtful.

Everyone thought he ignored it all and lived to keep his mother company. That he never cared at all for what people said. It was only a cover up for him to say that he went to school to see Sasagawa Kyoko. He never wanted to go but he didn't wanted to trouble his mother.

The truth was he was affected... and _severely_.

How could he ignore everything when he was ridiculed and unwanted everywhere he went? Even his own mother accepted the fact that he was useless and no-good.

 **"I'm not saying you have to go to a good high school or college, you know."**

She never knew that those simple words made him feel like not trying anything. Even if she meant no harm, she would hurt him in the most unpredictable ways. She even called him her 'useless son.'

-It hurts... and it hurts a lot.

So he pushed people apart unconsciously. He didn't wanted to get attached no matter how much he was craving for it. All because he didn't wanted to get hurt... because it hurt the most when he would be betrayed by the people he cared about the most.

That's why he was scared when... the baby wearing a fedora came knocking at the door.

* * *

Tsuna started at the scene in front of him with unreadable eyes. It's been two years since he's broken the Arcobaleno curse and now he's 16. All the arcobaleno have been growing up normally in the past two years too. If normally means the fact that they have random growth spurts of who knows how many years out of nowhere, then yes everything was normal.

Currently, an 18 year old amused Reborn was sitting at the side, watching the scene unfold. Every single one of his guardians were there too. It was the rare day that everybody decided to hang out today. Yes, even Hibari and he even allowed to hang out in his office!

At the moment Gokudera was doing a dogeza in front of him _again_ for some reason that Tsuna failed to understand while everyone else was merely looking at them with amusement.

How did this happen? _When_ had this happen? Was it when Reborn came along or was it when he first met Gokudera? Either way, Tsuna just couldn't keep up anymore.

They trusted him... _people_ trusted him **Dame-Tsuna**. Why? Why aren't they treating him like everyone else. What's so great about him? Just why is this happening?

"I'm so sorry, Jyuudaime! I shall commit seppuku for my careless mistake!" Gokudera's voice snapped Tsuna out of his stupor as he watched Gokudera horridly bang his head on the floor.

"Maa maa Gokudera. It's fine -"

"Shut up yakyuu-baka!" Gokudera screamed at Yamamoto who was trying to settle this down but was failing badly.

"Kufufu, what a loyal puppy," Mukuro commented from the side to which Hibari snorted in agreement.

"Shut up!"

Tsuna on the other hand remained eerily silent with his bangs covering his expression. Usually by now, Tsuna would have stopped the bomber from fighting and apologizing but he was rather quiet today.

"...Why?" he asked in a quiet voice that stopped everyone's conversation. It sounded so broken and.. hollow. So unlike their usual boss that they had to just stop and listen. Even Reborn was looking at his student with calculating eyes. Something wasn't right and they knew it.

"Eh?" Gokudera said dumbly

Yamamoto smiled lightly, "Why what, Tsuna?"

Reborn looked at his student with a raised eyebrow. He could feel that his student has been hiding something from him and it has been troubling him for the past few days but he couldn't figure it out. It made him realize for the first time that even Tsuna could hide things he didn't wanted to know. Even from the _World's Greatest Hitman_.

"Why do you keep..." he trailed, looking at them with blank eyes that really startled everyone. Tsuna _always_ had emotions swirling in his eyes and the fact that they were _blank_ right now, was really creepy for them.

"Jyuudaime?" Gokudera asked worried for his boss.

"...No, nothing."

"Jyuud-"

"I'm going home," Tsuna said cutting Gokudera off mid-sentence. Picking up his things, Tsuna made his way to the door. And without waiting for anyone's reply, Tsuna left leaving his tutor and his guardians alone.

Turning to the 18 year old hitman, Yamamoto asked, "Reborn-san, what's going on with Tsuna? He was like..." he trailed off but everyone understood what the baseball lover wanted to say. Tsuna was acting dead...

Reborn frowned, "There's something troubling him but he isn't saying anything. I'll try finding out but you keep a look out too."

* * *

 **[Night]**

Reborn lay on the bed next to Tsuna. Ever since he started having his irregular growth spurts, Nana bought a bigger bed for them since Reborn was adamant about watching over his student.

He was thinking how to get Tsuna to reveal what he is hiding when a soft yet empty voice startled him out of his musings.

"Ne, Reborn..." Tsuna asked as he turned to face him. Reborn had to frown at the look in his student's eyes. It was as though he was there but not exactly.

"What is it, Dame-Tsuna?"

"Why?"

Reborn rolled his eyes in exasperation as he sat up and had his student do the same. "Why what, Dame-Tsuna? A mafia boss has to be articulate," he smirked seeing if he could draw the same reaction he would but frowned when he saw that the brunet didn't even react. Usually, he would refuse vehemently that he doesn't wants to be a mafia boss.

"Why aren't you treating me normally?"

Reborn blinked for a second before he said, "We are treating you no-"

"No, you aren't!"

Reborn was mildly surprised with the force that Tsuna said that. His frown returned as he looked at his student. There was still no emotion in the brunet's eyes but... it was the first thing that he reacted to with such emotion. He was also mad that the brunet cut him off but he needed to be patient. He could punish him later.

"What do you mean by that, Dame-Tsuna? How else should we trea-"

"Why are all of you treating me like some kind of God? I'm Dame-Tsuna!" he replied, once again cutting off Reborn. Reborn really wanted to strangle the brunet in front of him but he blinked when the sentence registered in his brain.

Frowning, he said, "Tsuna, you are not dame. You have improved."

Tsuna remained silent for a while before saying, "You're lying." It was so soft that Reborn had to strain his ears to listen to the brunet. "You're lying," he repeated in a louder voice.

"Tsuna-"

"You're lying! All of you are the same! It's just a farce.. just a farce," he mumbled at the end. It was as though he was trying to convince himself something.

"All of you are the same... it's just a..." Tsuna looked down and was lost in his thoughts while Reborn was just confused. Something was troubling Tsuna and it was making him unstable and he needed answers, damn it!

"Tsuna, what do you mean?" he asked slowly as to not startle the teen.

His answer was only met with silence but after a second, he replied, "You all are all pretending... you will all betray me. You will all realize it soon... it won't be long."

Reborn was startled at that. Looking at the brunet in front of him, he frowned. _We will all betray him? Why does he thinks that? Unless.._

"We won't betray you, Tsuna. Why would you think that?" Reborn asked his student. He needed to know if it was what he thinks it is.

Tsuna gave a hollow laugh. Reborn inwardly winced; he didn't like seeing his student like this. It was upsetting.

"You know, I hate you Reborn. You came into my life and brought so many people for me to get attached to. It hurts you know, listening to the taunts and jeers of those students claiming that I payed them to be my friends," Tsuna said with tears flowing out of his eyes. _No, I don't hate Reborn... but I hate him for making me suffer like this._

Ever since Tsuna was young, he was always alone; separated because of his clumsiness. He wanted to talk to people; to interact with them but nobody did. Why? Why was he different? He wanted friends; somebody to lean on and trust. He found them when Reborn came but how long? How long until they realize that it's pointless to rely on him?

He always distanced himself and built up a wall. A wall that wouldn't make him that depressed when they would leave him in the future. He knew he shouldn't get used to the presences of his friends but it hurt when he built a wall. He wanted it to break but was afraid. Afraid that if he did break the wall then there would be nothing to protect him from the betrayal that will surely come.

What was it about him that made them stay with him? Nothing. He had nothing to offer so why? Why were they trusting him so much?

Reborn frowned and was about to say something when he was interrupted, "Did you really think that I wouldn't be affected by all of it? I was young, Reborn. The age where we would listen to it." Tsuna gave another hollow laugh before continuing, "Did you know that it hurts when you are betrayed by the people you care about? I've been through a lot Reborn so what makes you think that none of you will betray me? That this isn't a farce?"

"Tsun-"

"My own mother doesn't believes in me," he exclaimed as he was pulled into an embrace by the hitman. "She knows I'm useless. My own father refused to come home! Why? Was it because of my uselessness? Is that why he never came home and used work as a cover up? Tell me Reborn," he said, holding onto the hitman like a lifeline. "Why? Why aren't any of you treating me like normal? Are you trying to break me? If so, just leave me alone!"

By now, tears were rolling down Tsuna's face. He didn't understand; why were they staying with him? What was special about him that only they could see? Why aren't they treating him like the bullies?

Is it their plan to betray him after they have gained my trust? Are they just plotting this? Just like _him?_

"Ne, Reborn, I'm scared... scared of being trusted. I don't like... I'm not used to it. Please stop trusting me. Treat me the same! Please! I beg of you!" Tsuna wailed by the end. He wrapped his hands around Reborn's neck and cried his eyes out while pleading to treat him the same.

Reborn merely sighed as he tightened his hold on his unstable student, "Tsuna I'm not going to treat you the same. You are **my son** and I don't approve of this behavior. Your friends trust you and will _never_ betray you and if they do, I'll be the one to make them suffer."

Reborn could feel his student stiffening before burrowing his head into his neck. He could feel the tears dropping and he could do nothing but look at his student with sad eyes. He could hear the pleads to leave him alone but he ignored those. His student had affected him very much and he could very well say that he was his _sky_.

And damn it, he wasn't going to let _his_ sky, _his son_ to suffer because of those idiots. He was also to blame himself to not notice something like this:

-His student was **broken** and needed help.

* * *

 **._.._..._XX..XX_..._.._.**

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hey guys, a new fanfic for you all to read! Did you guys notice that all my fanfics have been sad and depressing at times?

Remember More Reviews = More Motivation.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

 **Warning(s):** Negative!thoughts, OOC's

 **Notes:** "Japanese" _Thinking_

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn; Amano Akira does. If I did, it would be more sadder and dark.

* * *

 _Tsuna ran as far as his feet could take him. The memories were catching up to him; the memories that he wished so hard to forget. Tripping over himself, Tsuna cursed his clumsiness before gasping as a memory from his younger year managed to catch up to him._

 _"Haha, Dame-Tsuna! Why are you alive?" Tsuna saw himself crouching in the corner, trying to minimize the damage to himself._

 _Another powerful kick to the chest that made him loose unconscious before the scene changed again. This time, it was one of his earlier ages. The time when his father and grandfather came; the time when he felt like he lost something vital to his life._

* * *

 _The scene changed to his mother talking on the phone. It was right after he was bullied and he was already starting to believe his bullies. The phone call only made it worse._

 _"Tsu-kun? Ah, that useless child of mine. He tripped once more in the morning and was late too. But other than he's fine," his mother continued talking to somebody on the phone - he later realized it was his father - not realizing the broken expression on the child's face._

 _His mother acknowledged he was useless. That he was no-good... so why was he living? Tsuna nor his mother noticed the dimming of the 7 year old child. Nor did they notice the fake smile the child put on._

"...No stop... I don't want to see this.. stop it!" Tsuna screamed as he tried his best to run away before another memory that he had locked a long time ago came to the surface.

 _An eight year old Tsunayoshi ran away from the taunts and jeers. He came to a stop in front of the abandoned park. The children were cruel; why was he treated differently. He was only clumsy but everyone hated him for that?_

 _"Tsuna!" a voice called out from behind. Turning around, Tsuna saw his naive younger self turn around at that call. "What's wrong?" he asked so kindly.. so kindly that he believed him._

 _"N-nothing! W-what are y-you doing h-here?" he had replied trying to hide his tears. The child in front of his younger self laughed and asked, "Ne, can I ask you a question?"_

"Stop it..." Tsuna said, closing his eyes and covering his ears. "Stop it.." Tears ran down his face as he saw his younger self nod obliviously. Not wanting to continue seeing this, he screamed "STOP IT!"

* * *

Reborn was sitting in the living room looking at all the gathered guardians. Bianchi had taken Nana, Fuuta and I-pin outside for the day while everyone else was here.

"Is something the matter, Reborn-san?" Gokudera asked, a bit worried before he looked around and saw someone missing, "Where's Jyuudaime?"

That caught the attention of the guardians before looking directly at Reborn, who merely tilted his fedora downwards.

"Tsuna-nii is in his room, sleeping," Lambo replied.

Yamamoto narrowed his eyes, "Why isn't Tsuna here? Aren't we having a meeting?"

Before Reborn could reply, a bloodcurdling scream pierced through the house. Without wasting any time, Reborn quickly got up and rushed towards the sound. He cursed under his breath and thought that he should have stayed with his student. He had seen the tell-tale signs of nightmares but he had thought he would have been fine if he left him for a moment.

Slamming the door open, Reborn waltzed to his writhing student on the bed. Without even a second's hesitation, he grabbed Tsuna's trashing hands and pinned them down while calling out, "Tsuna, wake up! It's just a nightmare!"

When Reborn saw that Tsuna was showing no signs of waking up, he released his sun flames to let it mingle with his student while letting his hand go across his student's face. It had immediate effects; his brown doe eyes opened wide but dazed as they made their eyes up to the 18 year old straddling him.

"R-Reborn," the brunet whimpered very softly and as soon as Reborn nodded, Tsuna sprung up and hugged the aging adult. Even though Reborn's primary instinct was to push away the trembling child, he controlled himself and completed the hug. He could feel the erratic beatings of his student's heartbeat and he couldn't help but wonder what made him so scared that he was reduced to a trembling mess.

Reborn mumbled some soothing words to the teen and drew circulating patterns on Tsuna's back. His flames were still mingling with his student's erratic ones but it seemed to calm down the child. When Tsuna seemed to have calmed down, Reborn tried, I repeat tried, to let go of his student but it seems that Tsuna had different ideas.

Sighing, Reborn maneuvered himself and Tsuna in a way that Tsuna was sitting on top of lap. Everyone else were standing in front of the door, looking at the scene in front of them with curious yet worried eyes.

"A nightmare?" Reborn asked Tsuna, who was clutching the hitman as though he was afraid he would disappear soon. Tsuna didn't bother on replying instead his grip on the hitman increased.

"Jyuudaime, are you okay?" Gokudera asked after a moment's hesitation. He was worried for his best friend. He had never seen Tsuna this vulnerable, not even in the future. In fact, every guardian were worried in their own ways, thinking the exact same thing Gokudera was.

Tsuna still refused to answer anything and merely tightened his grip. Not even a second later, he started mumbling but it could only be heard by the hitman. For a second, Reborn froze before calming himself down. He looked at the others and said, "Close the door and wait downstairs."

They all looked skeptical but nonetheless followed the order. Closing the door, the group of people went downstairs to wait.

"What do you think happened?" Yamamoto asked to no-one in particular. "I think it was a very _very_ bad nightmare."

They all nodded at that before Mukuro said, "But Tsunayoshi-kun doesn't really gets this upset after a nightmare."

Yamamoto added, "He usually hides it and worries about us."

Lambo jumped in, "Most of Tsuna-nii's nightmares are about us getting injured or something like that, anyways."

"Most but not all," Chrome replied quietly. Mukuro chuckled eerily before saying, "It seems the little bunny is hiding something."

Gokudera rolled his eyes before saying, "We figured that out, pineapple-head." A tick mark appeared on Mukuro's head and was about to say something before Ryohei said, "What if it's related to what he was hiding yesterday?"

The fact that Ryohei didn't say it loudly or used the word "EXTREME" had everyone surprised but got them to think and they couldn't help but agree to it. It was possible; Tsuna _had_ acted strangely yesterday and even Reborn didn't know what was troubling Tsuna.

"So, what should we do?" Yamamoto asked, looking at everyone for help. None of them liked it when Tsuna was like this; it made them feel like they had failed. Failed in protecting the brunet that all of them had vowed silently to protect him. Even Mukuro and Hibari were captured in the brunet's net and didn't like this development.

"Ask him?" Lambo asked, tilting his head to the side as though it was the most obvious thing ever.

Gokudera hit Lambo on the top of his head, "Aho-shi! We can't just go up to Jyuudaime and ask him what's wrong!"

Lambo caressed his bruise, "You didn't need to hit me, Baka-dera!"

"What did you say?!" Gokudera replied, taking out his dynamites. Yamamoto laughed, "Maa Maa, Hayato. You don't need to take our your fireworks."

"Don't call me Hayato!" Gokudera said, turning his attention to the baseball player who merely laughed. "But it's your name Hayato," Yamamoto pointed out.

"You aren't allowed to call me that!" He said, throwing his bombs at Yamamoto who quickly sliced it in half.

"EXTREME FIGHT!" Ryohei said, joining in the fight.

"Haha, I don't think we should continu-" Yamamoto was cut off by a tonfa whizzing past his face.

"Herbivores," Hibari called out, apparently tired from the noise in front of him. "I'll bite you to death!"

"Kufufu, the skylark seems to be awfully irritated," Mukuro said from the sidelines. "Is he that worried about the little bunny?"

"M-Mukuro-sama," Chrome said nervously. 2 tick marks appeared on the skylark's head before redirecting his attack at the pineapple head. "Pineapple head"

Mukuro's vein popped, "Kufufu, I'll make sure you'll pay for that." Hibari merely smirked condescendingly.

Meanwhile, the two guardians - Mist and Lightning - stood by the side, wondering how did a simple conversation turn into this.

"Was it my fault?" Lambo said after a beat's moment. Chrome could only stare.

* * *

Reborn was infuriated. His student was still in his denial stage and those _pets_ , he meant guardians of his were going wild. He had been gone for only a few minutes and a full-on fight was happening in the living room below.

He could see two guardians doing absolutely nothing; merely staring at what was happening in front of him. Seriously, how did Dame-Tsuna deal with this?

Clicking his tongue, Reborn -

 **Bang!**

-shot a bullet in the ceiling, ceasing all the fights that were happening. Tilting his fedora downwards, he shot a glare towards the frozen guardians, **"Will you all shut up?"**

"H-Hai!" Everyone except Mukuro and Hibari who nodded, said.

"R-Reborn-san," Gokudera started asking after sitting down on the couch dutifully. "H-How's Jy-Jyuudaime?"

"He's fine," Reborn said after sitting down on the couch. Everyone wanted to refute that sentence but a single glare from the growing hitman refrained them from doing so. Tsuna was not fine; not with the way he acted.

"I found out what he was hiding," Reborn said after a while, fiddling with a gun. Suddenly, everyone straightened their backs and looked at Reborn with expecting yet restless eyes. Reborn smirked at the guardians' dedication. At least, it proved that they cared, unlike what his student thought.

Tilting his fedora up, he replied, "Pack your stuff. We'll be going to Italy."

Looking surprised, Chrome asked, "I-Italy?"

"Why Italy? It's not yet time for his Inheritance Ceremony yet," Gokudera said.

Sighing, Reborn said, "Tsuna's emotions are currently unstable. He needs to be with people who would encourage him to do things not who wouldn't. Besides, everyone is there and will be easier."

As though understanding what Reborn was trying to say, the guardians nodded. Hibari looked at them before sighing and leaving but not without saying, "Hn, I'll excuse us from school for an indefinite leave."

Smirk widening, Reborn turned to the surprised guardians who were still looking at where Hibari disappeared from. "We'll be leaving in two days. So, get ready."

* * *

 **._.._..._XX..XX_..._.._.**

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hey guys, sorry for the late update but I have life. Note I will not drop any of fics! I am just busy these days and it will take some time to upload the new chapters!

Remember More Reviews = More Motivation.


End file.
